Getting Comfortable with Public Speaking

  Little Eyes Upon You…

There are little eyes upon you,
And they’re watching night and day.

There are little ears that quickly,

Take in every word you say.

There are little hands all eager,

To do everything you do.

And a little child who’s dreaming,

Of the day he/she’ll be like you.

~ Anonymous ~



The Do’s and Don’ts of Public Speaking

1.      Do’s
  1. Analyze your audience.
  2. Consider how your location affects its content.
  3. Use your voice and body language to your advantage.
  4. Determine your purpose.
  5. Organize a pattern for your speech.
  6. Include a complete and commanding conclusion.
2.      Don’ts
  1. Forget to appeal to logic or emotion.
  2. Disregard the impact of first impressions.
  3. Neglect your hygiene or dress poorly.
  4. Fall prey to stage fright.
  5. UNDERESTIMATE the importance of public speaking to your personal and professional life.

Working with Groups

1.      Be real. Share things about yourself:

  1. Name.
  2. Hometown.
  3. Major
  4. Year in school.
  5. Sport.
  6. Position you play.

2.      Use humor only when appropriate.

3.      Share your thoughts and feelings about the requested topic.

4.      Be respectful, courteous.

5.      Make sure you capture and keep your audience’s attention.

6.      Have a positive approach.

7.      Seek to understand your group, read their behavior.

8.      When answering questions or listening to comments, repeat them for all to hear.

9.      Ask yourself if you are really leaving a good message with the children.

Questions and Answers

1.      Time

Depending on the age of your audience, leave about 10 minutes at the end of the presentation to answer questions. Monitor the time and make sure to end the session when your students start getting restless or when they start telling stories rather than asking questions.

2.      Answering Difficult Questions

a.        Be prepared for all kinds of questions, including personal ones. If a question is too personal, simply tell them and move on to the next one. You may be asked very difficult questions such as:

‘Have you ever used drugs?’

‘Do you smoke?’

‘Do you drink?’

If you ever have this type of experience, stress the dangers of substance abuse and state why it causes you pain and suffering (deteriorating health, losing friends, failing school, underachieving in sport, etc).

b.       When asked questions about teammates, be careful not to implicate individuals or teams. Do not name any athlete, sport, or school, even if specific incidents have been publicized in the media.

c.        If you feel comfortable, lead a discussion about the topic and let people express their opinions.

 

Speaking to Different Age Groups

1.      Late Childhood or Preadolescence (ages 5 – 12)

When talking to elementary school students (below the age of 12), the primary message should be prevention. It is best if these youngsters never start with alcohol or drugs, and the evidence is that the most successes lie within this group.

a.        General Characteristics

-          Interested in people, aware of differences and willing to give more to others.

-          Busy, active, full of enthusiasm, accident-prone.

-          Sensitive to criticism, recognize failure, capable of self-evaluation.

-          Decisive, dependable, reasonable, strong sense of right and wrong.

b.       Physical Characteristics

-          Very active and in need of frequent breaks.

-          Bone growth is not yet complete.

-          Early maturers may be upset with their size.

-          Concerned with appearance.

c.        Social Characteristics

-          Competitive.

-          Picky about friends.

-          Important to be accepted.

-          Team games are popular.

-          Have heroes.

-          Cliques start to develop.

-          Crushes.

d.       Emotional Characteristics

-          Sensitive to praise and recognition.

-          Feelings get hurt easily.

-          Conflict between adults’ rules and friends’ rules.

-          Concerned about others’ opinion of them.

e.        Mental Characteristics

-          Fairness is a big issue.

-          Eager to answer questions.

-          Very curious.

-          Desire more independence.

f.         Working with grades K-3 (ages 5-8)

-          Be very positive and use imaginative stories.

-          Plan for short talks.

-          Do not pass anything around – walk around the group to show it.

-          Use group answers or have the group repeat after you.

-          Keep ideas to the present.

g.       Working with grades 4-6 (ages 9-12)

Recent studies show that the average age to begin experimentation is about 12 years old, or during the 5th and 6th grades for most youngsters. Typically, alcohol and tobacco are considered the ‘gateway’ drugs. People progress from these drugs to marijuana and then hard drugs.

-          Be encouraging and use a pleasant tone of voice.

-          Do not be concerned with covering a certain amount of information.

-          Set up rules, raising hands etc.

-          Plan for an attention span of 30 minutes.

-          Keep ideas to the present.

-          Be ready to answer a lot of questions and learn how to handle storytellers.

2.      Early Adolescence (ages 13 – 16)

Middle school students are very susceptible to experimentation. Encourage those who are already involved with drugs and alcohol to stop, and encourage those who are not involved to continue staying clean. It is important to reassure those who have not started that they are doing the right thing.

a.        General Characteristics

-          Know-it-all attitude.

-          Vulnerable, emotionally insecure, afraid of rejection.

-          Mood swings.

b.       Physical Characteristics

-          Physical changes affect personal appearance.

-          Self-conscious about growth.

-          Bad diet and sleep habits.

-          Rapid weight gain.

c.        Social Characteristics

-          Friends set general rules for behavior.

-          Great need to conform.

-          Very concerned with what others say or think of them.

-          Tendency to manipulate others.

-          Going to extremes, emotional instability.

-          Fear of ridicule or of being unpopular.

-          Strong identification with an admired adult.

-          Girls more interested in boys.

d.       Emotional Characteristics

-          Sensitive to praise and recognition.

-          Caught between being a child and being an adult.

-          Loud behavior hides lack of self-confidence.

-          Look at world more objectively.

e.        Mental Characteristics

-          Better understand moral principles.

-          Attention span can be lengthy.

f.         Working with grades 6-8 (ages 13-16)

-          Be a real person: discuss real situations and experiences you have had.

-          Use dilemmas to bring out discussions, then ask opinions and discuss both sides.

-          Be positive and discuss ways to get motivated and feel good.

-          Plan for longer activities: 30-45 minutes.

-          Find out who they admire and use them in examples.

-          Teach social and leadership skills.

Topics of Presentation

1.      Saying No to Drugs  

“Yes and No are the easiest words in the English language, yet, sometimes, they are the hardest ones to say.”

--- Claire Woodbridge

When discussing the dangers of drug use, you are not expected to be an expert on each drug. However, you should have clear values regarding the dangers of drugs. State your personal opinion and relate your experiences (your own or those with friends) with taking drugs. Talk about peer pressure and how/why to withstand it.

a.        Why are drugs wrong?

-          Drugs keep you from being honest/responsible/credible.

-          Drugs kill your dreams and prevent you from achieving them.

-          Drugs will seduce you, turn you on then take away your dreams and desires.

-          Drugs will stop you, slow you down, and hinder your personal growth (physical/emotional/social).

-          Drugs erode self-discipline and motivation needed for learning.

-          Drugs will take away your lifestyle and everything you value.

-          Drugs can kill you or may take you to prison.

-          Drugs have been known to destroy families.

-          Drugs change the personal relationships you worked hard to build.

-          Drugs are a downhill trip: health problems, legal problems, moral problems, economic problems, and family problems.

-          Drugs and alcohol alter the organs in your body (brain, liver, intestinal system, circulatory system, skin, etc). These changes can be long-term. Some effects can be reversed when the intake is stopped, but others may be permanent.

-          Drug use is tied to truancy and dropping out of school.

b.       Why do people start to use drugs?

-          Because they want to satisfy their curiosity.

-          Because they want to look cool, tough, or smart.

-          Because their friends/parents/family/role models do drugs.

-          Because they want to be accepted into a group.

-          Because they want to keep their so-called friends.

-          Because they want to feel grown-up and make their own decisions.

-          Because they do not know how to say NO (see section f for techniques on how to say NO).

-          Because it does not seem dangerous.

c.        Why do most people not start to use drugs?

-          Because their friends/parents/family/role models do not do drugs.

-          Because they get involved in better activities.

-          Because they do not want legal trouble.

-          Because they do not want problems at school.

-          Because drugs are bad for their health.

-          Because they do not want to become addicted.

-          Because they want to be in control of their bodies.

-          Because they are afraid of cancer and other diseases.

-          Because they will lose their real friends.

-          Because drugs will stop them from reaching their goals.

-          Because they like themselves the way they are.

d.       Risk factors in substance abuse:

Harmful involvement with drugs will affect all major areas of a young person’s life. Some of these major areas are:

-          Family functioning: disruption of family roles.

-          School performance: attendance, grades, interests, and motivation.

-          Attitude: indifference, unconcerned with consequences.

-          Behavior: withdrawal, hostility, and irresponsibility.

-          Social aspect: change of friends, isolation.

-          Interests: preoccupations with use of drugs.

e.        Staying out of trouble and keeping your friends:

-          Ask questions: What are we going to do?

-          Name the trouble: That’s… (stealing, dangerous, illegal etc)

-          Identify the consequences: If we get caught, we’ll be in big trouble.

-          Suggest an alternative: Why don’t we go to my house instead?

-          Tell them what you are going to do and leave the door open: If you change your mind,…

f.         Techniques to say NO:

There are different ways to say NO to drug offers or pressure to do things you do not want to do:

-          Say ‘no thanks’.

-          Give a reason or an excuse.

-          Use a broken record, repeat your refusal.

-          Walk away from it.

-          Change the subject.

-          Hang around non-users.

 

2.      The Importance of Academics

“Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at 20 or 80. Anyone who keeps learning stays young. The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young.”

--- Henry Ford

When talking about the importance of an education, the following points should be discussed:

a.        Your personal perspective on why an education is important:

-          Who/what motivated you to graduate from high school.

-          Who/what motivated you to pursue a college degree.

-          Share advice you were given about staying in school.

-          Share your experiences vs. those of others who did not graduate from high school or college.

b.       The importance of getting a high school diploma:

-          Being able to get a job.

-          Being able to join the military.

-          Being able to go to college.

c.        The investment into a college education:

-          Being able to pursue a career rather than just a job.

-          Being able to make more money.

-          Being able to meet lifelong friends from all over the country/world.

d.       An education provides you the opportunity to pursue your interests: sports, music, science, etc.

e.        An education helps you become a well-rounded, intelligent person.

f.         An education provides you with the knowledge and skills that will help you function in our society. Responsible people learn to use that knowledge/skill/talent to further themselves in life.

g.       In school, you learn how to:

-          Get along with others.

-          Communicate with others.

-          Work with others (citizenship, sense of community, etc).

h.       An education will make you feel better about yourself because you have reached an important and worthwhile goal.

i.         Learning is fun/challenging/rewarding.

j.         You are less likely to engage in inappropriate behavior when you are actively pursuing a degree.

 

3.      Setting and Achieving Goals

“Setting a goal is not the main thing. It is deciding how you will go about achieving it and staying with that plan.”

--- Tom Landry

 

a.        Reaching goals – Time management

The key to reaching your goals is through making time management a habit. The following are important steps in the process:

-          Make a list of tasks to do.

-          Prioritize your tasks.

-          Adopt realistic goals for each task.

-          Break each task down into smaller steps.

-          Develop a schedule for completing each step.

-          Begin working on your tasks, small steps at a time.

-          Record your progress (keep a log).

-          Reward yourself.

b.       Goals:

-          You need goals to help you stay motivated on a daily basis.

-          You have to set both short- and long-term goals.

-          You have more control over reaching those goals that are shorter in time.

-          The more successful you are at setting and meeting small goals, the greater your chances of success become at meeting long-term goals.

-          Goals must be measurable when making a behavioral change.

-          Goals must be realistic, you have to recognize your abilities and opportunities.

-          Goals help you accept yourself, believe in yourself, focus on the positive, become responsible, develop self-control and discipline, treat setbacks as temporary, and avoid excuses.

c.        Mini goals:

Small steps towards your short- and long-term goals:

d.       Short-term goals:

A short-term goal is a goal that can be reached in a few months.

e.        Long-term goals:

A long-term goal is a goal that can be reached over time. It requires a lot of small steps and extensive planning.

f.         Self-talk:

REPLACE                                                          WITH

‘I blew it.’                                                           ‘Next time I’ll get it right.’

‘I’m so fat.’                                                         ‘I’ll feel and look better soon.’

‘I’ll never get it.’                                                     ‘I have the ability to improve my performance.’

‘I’m so stupid.’                                                  ‘I can and will learn this.’

‘What’s the use.’                                                 ‘If I can dream it, I can achieve it.’

‘I just know I’ll screw it up.’                         ‘I’ll learn from my mistakes and will be able to do it.’

‘They won’t like me.’                                  ‘I’ll enjoy being with them.’

‘I just don’t have what it takes.’                    ‘I’m capable.’

‘I’m such a slob.’                                                      ‘I enjoy looking my best.’

‘I hate the way I look.’                                    ‘I like myself.’

‘I hate doing this.’                                       ‘I’ll do my best.’

4.      Handling Peer Pressure

“You don't have to buy from anyone. You don't have to work at any particular job. You don't have to participate in any given relationship. You can choose.”

--- Harry Browne

a.        What is peer pressure?

Peer pressure is any situation where peers are trying to influence you on how you think or act.

b.       Positive peer pressure:

-          Participate in school activities, sports, etc.

-          Set and achieve goals.

-          Get good grades.

-          Keep your body healthy/drug-free.

c.        Negative peer pressure:

-          Use alcohol or other drugs.

-          Skip school and classes.

-          Have sex before you are ready.

-          Shoplift or vandalize property.

-          Disobey your parents.

d.       How do you handle peer pressure? Learn to be your own best friend.

-          You need to understand who you are, what your values are, and what right from wrong is.

-          You need to know how to make your own decisions: what is right for you?

-          You need to tell others your decision and stick with it with confidence.

-          You need to recognize what to do in different situations.

-          You need to learn how to say NO.

-          You need to think about the consequences: can you get in trouble?

e.        High self-esteem can help you resist peer pressure:

-          Accept your own self-worth - strengths and weaknesses.

-          Be accountable for yourself – make your own decisions.

-          Act responsibly towards others - respect yourself and others.

-          Trust and believe in yourself.

f.         Low self-esteem is:

-          Having a lack of confidence.

-          Being unable to accept yourself.

-          Not respecting or disliking yourself.

-          Letting others make decisions for you.

g.       How to develop higher self-esteem:

-          Examine yourself and your values - know what is important to you.

-          Make time for yourself - reflect on your thoughts and feelings every day.

-          Set realistic goals - what do you want to accomplish today/tomorrow/this week?

-          Take pride in yourself - praise yourself for your accomplishments.

h.       What happens after you make a decision? What happens when you say NO to peer pressure?

You will:

-          Feel good about yourself because you were in charge.

-          Gain other people’s respect because you were your own person.

-          Improve your relationship with your parents.

-          Stay out of trouble and help keep others out of it too!

5.      Being the Best that You Can Be

“Most look up and admire the stars. A champion climbs a mountain and grabs one.”

--- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

a.        It is fun to be a winner but it is more important to be a good loser.

b.       Choose the right role models for you or find an adult role model who is in your life.

c.        Success is something you need to work at every day.

d.       Continuously strive for achievement and set realistic goals.

e.        Take schoolwork seriously: an education is important as it can provide you with the opportunities you might not otherwise have.

f.         Take pride in doing well academically as well as in other good activities.

g.       Discover your interests and talents and develop them.

h.       Take pleasure in being successful at something.

i.         Avoid alcohol and drugs as they lower your potential to perform at the best of your ability.

j.         Learn how to have a sense of humor about yourself and your life.

k.        No one escapes problems - learn from your mistakes and move on.

l.         Be popular for who you are and not for what you do.

m.      Learn to be an independent and responsible individual.

n.       Choose friends who are well balanced, happy, and fun to be with and accept you for who you are.

o.       Take pride in yourself, like yourself and accept yourself for who you are.

p.       Understand that success and failure are both part of life.

q.       Make good choices, stand up for what you believe in, and always have a positive attitude.

r.         Be accepting of others, do something for your community and volunteer your time.

s.        Exercise, eat right, and work at being healthy.

t.         Do the best you can at whatever you choose to do.

u.       Learn to be a good leader or a good follower (team member).

v.       It is not always what happens to you, rather, how you handle it.

 

6.      Character Counts - The Six Pillars of Character

 

“Be more concerned with your character than with your reputation. Your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.”

--- John Wooden

 

a.        Trustworthiness:

-          Be honest - do not deceive.

-          Be loyal.                

-          Be reliable – do what you say you will do.               

-          Have the courage to do the right thing.

-          Build a good reputation.                

b.       Respect:

-          Treat others with respect – Golden Rule.

-          Be tolerant of differences.

-          Use good manners, avoid bad language.

-          Be considerate of other people’s feelings.

-          Deal peacefully with anger/disagreements.

c.        Fairness:

-          Play by the rules.               

-          Take turns and share.

-          Be open-minded - listen to others.

-          Do not take advantage of others.

-          Do not blame others carelessly.                

d.       Caring: 

-          Be kind.

-          Help people in need.               

-          Be compassionate and show it.               

-          Express gratitude.               

-          Forgive others.                               

e.        Responsibility:

-          Do what you are supposed to do.                

-          Persevere - keep trying.

-          Always do your best.               

-          Use self-control – be self-disciplined.

-          Think before you act.

-          Be accountable for all your choices.

f.         Citizenship:

-          Make your environment better.

-          Cooperate.

-          Stay informed.

-          Be a good neighbor.

-          Obey laws and rules.

-         Respect authority.

THE BOTTOM LINE

FACE IT, nobody owes you a living…
What you achieve, or fail to achieve in your lifetime,
Is directly related to what you do or fail to do.
No one chooses his parents or his childhood,
But you can choose your own direction.
Everyone has problems and obstacles to overcome,
But, that too, is relative to each and every individual.
NOTHING IS CARVED IN STONE!
You can change anything in your life
If you want to change it badly enough.
Excuses are only for losers!

Those who take responsibility for their actions,
Are the real winners in life.
Winners meet life challenges head on
Knowing there are no guarantees, and give it all they've got
And never think it's too late or too early to begin.
Time plays no favorites,
And will pass whether you act or not.
Take control of your LIFE,
Dare to Dream and take risks...
Compete!
If you aren't willing to work for your goals,

Don't expect others to.
BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!"

 

~ Anonymous

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